Live in Color

I might start just writing in verse every Thursday. Verse Thursday.

I.

Starting new is the strangest

thing –

double spaced becomes something

different to me

“we won’t have to be scared”

is that really a quote, or

something closer to something

everyone screams in their lifetime?

everything revolved around college

for a time –

how’s it going?

people would ask and i would frown

wishing they would be quiet and

leave me be for once


but now things are different

i wish i had read more about

attrition rates before even going

all of my friends are graduating

and while i don’t feel left behind,

it’s something like that.

II.

here comes the rain –

it’s something we expect but aren’t

hoping for

I trust the sky a bit too much

I don’t trust the ground

I’m too afraid of it falling out from

underneath me

why am i living in the same color

green as Alaska in spring?

why is everything blooming?


if there’s spring in a place that most

would deem unfit to have one

why can’t there be spring in me?

am i forbidden from blooming?

must i understand the happiness

within me?

I wish I could help the people who

need to bloom.

my husband is in his jail of an office

doing far too much tech support work

than any human should.

he’s a bud who has been in the dark

for too long

and he needs to come into the light.



III.

I am neon pink

coming from black and white

I don’t deserve to be shot in grays

I need to live aloud,

live in color

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Completion in Green

Sometimes I make art, and most of the time it looks like this. Most of the time I would say that I suck at art, but occasionally I make a piece that I’m proud of. This is a sketch that I made at the request of a friend, and it helped put me in a more calm state. There’s something special about making art for me, and sometimes it’s more calming than making music. Photography is also up there for me. This is Completion In Green.

To make this piece, I used Autodesk Sketchbook. I set the color wheel to a vibrant green and began to play with the different shades. This was the result. My husband once saw some art of mine a few months ago and probably could have sworn I was tripping on some kind of hallucinogen. I wasn’t, that’s just how I draw. Maybe the drawings are dredged up remnants of nightmares. If you look at this piece, you’ll see a face with their mouth covered. I don’t have a true meaning for this piece, but it was kind of inspired by Edvard Munch’s The Scream. Maybe I just like playing with pretty colors.

I like making art because it mainly involves my hands and doesn’t involve dwelling on my past like many of my other favorite activities do. I wonder if making art unleashes my true self as much as writing does. I think I’m a few steps behind poetry or even music as far as creating happy, peaceful things. I’m still trying to spill my darkness onto the page. I seem to favor bright colors and odd subject matter. This is how I create, it invokes certain strong emotions, even if the emotions are shock and disgust. I don’t think that that will change until I manage to get all of my darkness out onto the pages in some way, shape, or form.

Another thing I love about creating art, especially electronic art, is that I tend to stay away from realism so I don’t beat myself up for making mistakes like I would were I drawing something real. With the art that I make, the world may never know that that splotch over there in the corner is a mistake to me.

Maybe I’ll vent darkness for awhile. Maybe my work will turn peaceful. I am me, and how I create is how I create.

Until next post,

Meg