The pain hasn’t really let up today, so this post might be a bit short.
I am really proud of how I looked today.
I know most people would find the green lipstick odd, and I’ll give that to them. Some people haven’t ever seen a matte green lipstick before. I hadn’t ever seen one in person, either, until I walked into an Ulta store in Plano, TX. I made myself a promise that I would not make a purchase in that Ulta unless it was a tube of matte forest green lipstick. I called this an impossible wish. After much hunting, the workers there tracked down the same lipstick I wore today. It’s a shade from Too Faced called Wicked. The only problem I had with it was that it cost $20 USD, but I ultimately remembered my promise to myself and walked out with it in hand. It’s probably the weirdest shade in my collection and I only really break it out on special occasions. It was what I needed today to look like myself, which I desperately needed.
I believe I wrote before about how my desired look changes depending on how I’m feeling. It has recently included dark lipstick, long sleeved button downs, and business pants or skirts. It shifts a bit, but it seems to largely stay focused on this sort of theme. I have felt so confident in these outfits, and that shows in the large amount of selfies I’ve been taking.
Selfies help me when I feel sad. Looking nice is an important mood booster for me – if I look nice, odds are I feel better about myself than normal. It’s one of the things I like to do when I feel sad – take a shower and put on some nice clothes, take a few pictures of myself. It works wonders.
I have recently realized that not everyone will like the way I look. That shouldn’t stop me from dressing in ways that make me comfortable with myself. The green lipstick, as I stated before, turns a lot of people off. I’m not meant to be liked by everyone who ever sees me. I am me, and I am not meant to be liked or understood by everyone. Nobody is made for everyone, and thinking one is that way only leads to disappointment. Some people can’t take me seriously with black lipstick on, and they have every right to do so. I will never be able to please everyone. That, to me, is an important step I’ve made in learning who I am.
Thank you for reading!