I feel like crap because I have not been writing here a lot. I need to get back into things. When the sad rears its ugly head, I tend to shrink back in some ways. I also have many things to say and not many ways to say them.
I’ve tried writing about this before, but it never came out right. I scrapped the idea as a result and have not returned to it.
I don’t think I’m a full Christian, at least not in the traditional sense of the word and as far as orthodox beliefs go. Christianity is a very orthodoxy-dependent faith and I don’t check all of the boxes, you know? I don’t have the correct beliefs. This has been causing me some form of distress because I am up in the air about a lot of things. My long standing belief system and how I see the world is up for debate now, and that’s scary.
I also think my beliefs fall in line with a structure of something like witchcraft, which is readily adaptable to any system. (yes, there are Christian witches, they do not do evil things by default). I would not use this system for villainy, but I do feel called to it for good things. I don’t know the nature of my Higher Power anymore, but I do believe that they are a life force found in everything that can be tapped into if one is ready. I don’t feel quite ready to turn from the idea of a traditional God yet for fear of punishment, mostly from my friends/family as a whole. Hell doesn’t scare me, being unorthodox doesn’t scare me. My family, however, does. What my husband would say does scare me. But such is life, I suppose. I can either live in fear and never reach my full potential, or I can sit with the fear, overcome it, and use it for my good. Today, I am choosing to overcome fear. So as it stands, I am not tied to the idea of any one deity or even deities. If something reveals itself, I will jump for it, but for now, I’m trying to align myself with that life force. It’s rather freeing to realize that one does not have to believe one way or another so long as one is pursuing the good.
When did this start?
Ten or eleven days ago, two of my closest friends saw a psychic. The psychic had many things to say about us three (them + me) and said to explore our power because we are three witches come to help heal the Earth.
This is a very basic summary of what went on, but my thought process is that, crazy though it may sound, it could be true. It doesn’t promote evil (the sent here to do good is very telling) and that was the first test I ran it through. There are also many things that have gone on in the past five years that are too coincidental to be accidents, if that makes sense. It all adds up in ways I did not think was possible.
So we are to get in touch with our spiritual side if we want this to work, and that is what I have been doing. It’s a very long, confusing process, but I think it will be worth it. I also have a niche for B + BD now, in other words.
More to come.
Until next post,
Mago (which means wizard in Spanish)