I’m listening to my Spotify 2018 rewind playlist and I played a lot of these songs when my husband and I first started dating. “Superhero” by Kormac is on. I remember waking up to it after he ended our Skype call one night. It’s kinda weird hearing all of these songs that bring back so many memories from just last year and thinking about how so much has changed. I’m MARRIED now, something I thought would never happen to me, for one. I live in my ideal environment and in a place I’ve always dreamed of living. I am beyond lucky.
Even though dysphoria has been confusing and scary, I have been happy overall. I have many, many things to be thankful for – friends who get me, a husband who loves fiercely and is also my best friend, yogurt in the fridge, computer parts to play with. I love so many things here. Owl City is in my ears now, and he’s one of my biggest inspirations. Call me a sap, but these times are beautiful and made to be noticed and be grateful for.
I’m also thankful for this journey of self discovery, painful though it may it be at times. I’m learning, and that is important. That matters. I found a great article from the website The Body is not an Apology about self care when you’re in a bad dysphoric spot. I’ll share it at the end of the post!
If you’re in a learning period, I know it can look bleak from where you are. You may struggle with thoughts of hopelessness and worthlessness. I know these feelings all too well. There will be good times ahead, so don’t break yourself or beat yourself up. I won’t tell you to “keep your chin up”, or anything like that, because that is, pardon my French, bullshit. Instead, stay warm, tend to yourself, stay safe. I’m here if you want to talk.
Here is the article: